Spoiler Alert: This blog is going to be about me missing my son. If you are sick of reading about this chapter in my life or you just want me to “suck it up”, then stop reading now!
August 26, 2012 was a hard hard day for me. I left my baby at college, and I drove home alone. I wanted to do this alone. I knew that this day was coming. I anticipated it, however, it didn’t hit home until I was actually leaving him. As I was leaving him, I gave up trying to be strong, and I just started sobbing. Trey had asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with him and his friend and her parents before I left, and I refused. I seriously couldn’t take any more. I couldn’t prolong the goodbyes any more. I was done.
I am lucky that I have a busy schedule, and I don’t have to dwell on it overly much. It was really hard when I returned from my first college class on Tuesday night. The house was so quiet, and I just started bawling.
Thank God that I have Morgan! She has been a real trooper through all of this. She never tells me to “get over it”. She always calls and checks on me and really listens to me. She is constantly inviting me over to have dinner or breakfast. I love her so much!
One of the hardest parts of this empty nest is that I didn’t expect to grieve like I have. I didn’t know that my emotions would be this powerful. I am used to texting him and having him return my texts promptly. Now, I am lucky if I get a reply sometimes. I am used to talking to him every day. Now, I am trying hard not to call him on some days.
He is so happy at St. Edwards! I am so happy that he is happy, however, it is bittersweet. I know that it will get easier. I know that I will survive. I just didn’t know that it would be this hard.
cindystoker 
Ughhhh!!!! You’re making me cry!
Cindy, just now got around to reading this entry. When Laura, our older, went to college I held it together thru the parent orientations and fixing her room up, etc. When it came time to say the last good-bye before we left, I barely made it out of her dorm room before I lost it, sobbing so loudly Howard stuffed me in an empty dorm room to stifle it. I cried off and on for weeks. It’s definitely a type of mourning. I cried when I set the table for 3 instead of 4. I cried when I went to the grocery store and passed by her favorite pop-tarts without buying any. It’s wonderful for them, and we’re happy for them, and wouldn’t have it any other way, but it’s hard! God bless you as you work your way thru this. By the way, I can tell you’re a fantastic teacher by your posts and pictures on facebook.
Thanks, Valerie! This has been a very difficult transition for me. I am glad to see that others understand that it is not just me whining. I know that it will get better. I can feel myself shutting other people out and just staying at home. I know that this will have to stop soon.